This is the transcript for Robbie Sells Rex. To return to the episode, click here.
Tori: [Clears throat] Good morning!
Students: [In unison] Hey!
Tori: Um, I'd like to introduce our guest lecturer, my friend, the head of Neutronium Records and the producer of the Platinum Music Awards, Mason Thornesmith.
Students: [Applause]
Mason: [Phone rings] Oh, sorry, darling! Gotta take this! [Opens phone and puts it to his ear] Yeah, what is it?
Tori: Uh, Mason is going to be teaching us about how much fun and how exciting the music business can be and hopefully he'll [gets interrupted by Mason]
Mason: [Still on the phone] No! You tell him he better be in that recording session or I'll have his fat-head on a fork! Weas... Oh, Max it's you! Yes, guess what? You're fired! Now run home and tell your pregnant wife!
Jade: I love that man!
André: He's sweet!
Mason: Hello, kids.
Students: [Together] Hey! Hi!
Tori: So, Mason, what advice do you have for the students here at Hollywood Arts who are trying to break into the music business?
Mason: Well, I'd say, you know, if you work hard, stay focused... Ah, who're we kidding? Prepare for your dreams to be crushed!
Tori: Questions?
Students: [Raise their hands]
Tori: Uh... Hey, Robbie!
Robbie: [Stands up] Hi, Robbie Shapiro, class treasurer, sea-food lover! Here, at school I'm known as quite the guitar player..
Rex: ..and quite the doofbag!
Robbie: Anyway, my guitar instructor says I'm excellent when it comes to picking...
Rex: ...especially his nose!
Robbie: [Looks at Rex] Rex!
Maren: Actually, Robin...
Robbie: ...Rob-BIE!
Mason: Never correct me! Uh, I would like to speak with you when we're all finished here!
Robbie: Really?
Jade: Really?
Mason: Really!
André: [Looks at Jade] I never knew Robbie liked seafood!
Trina: [Gets up and pushes Robbie off his chair] Mr. Thornesmith, this is a collection of my music![Shows a CD cover she's holding] It's, uh, called 'Songs in the key of Trina'.
[Flour-Bomber runs from behind the Black Room curtain] André: Hey! Hey, look out!
Tori: [Points at the Flour-Bomber] It's the Flour-Bomber!
Flour-Bomber: [Throws flour and Trina and runs out]
Jade: Wreck him!
Trina: [Spits out flour]
[Theme Song]
[The blackbox theater, after the assembly, on the chairs]
Trina: [Brushing flower off her face] Ugh, I can't believe that flour-bomber. He ruined my chances to sing for Mason Thornesmith.
André: Uhm, Trina...have you ever recorded yourself singing, and played it back, and, ya know, listened to it?
Trina: Yeah, sure.
André: And...and you wanna do it again?
Jade: I am so sick of that flour-bomber. I am gonna find out who he is, and why he's flour-bombing people.
Sinjin: [Walks up to Jade] I made you this daisy out of colored paper. [Hands daisy to Jade]
Jade: [Crumples flour then throws it at Sinjin. Exits the blackbox theater]
[On the stage in the blackbox theater]
Mason: So..Robbie...let's say you eh, swing by my office tomorrow, 4:00, how does that sound?
Robbie: Scrumptious.
Rex: Oh my god, you're blowing it already.
Mason: I like this Rex. [Points to Rex] You bring him to the office tomorrow.
Robbie: [Looks at Rex] Sure.
[Cat enters the blackbox theater]
Cat: [Running towards André and Trina] Is it true? Did the flour bomber really strike again?
André: What do you think? [Guestures to Trina]
Cat: I don't know, what do I think?
Trina: Look at me. Do you not see what's on my face? [Guestures around face]
Cat: A chin pimple?
Trina: [Covers chin and gasps]
[At Mason's Office]
Mason's Assistant: [To Robbie and Cat] Okay, you guys should just have a seat, and Mason will be here in a minute.
Cat: [Walking through door, turns to face Mason's assistant] Um...have you heard of bibble?
Mason's Assistant: Sure, they British snack.
Robbie: Cat..
Cat: Sush up! [Points at Robbie]
Cat: Yeah, uh, can you point me in the direction of Mason's bibble?
Mason's Assistant: I've been told not to give you any bibble.
Cat: Mmm...maybe you're thinking of someone else.
Mason's Assistant: [Nods] You're Cat Valentine.
Cat: No! I'm Cat Valen...stine!
Cat: Hey, were you at my bat mitzvah?
Mason's Assistant: [Leaves and shuts door to Mason's office]
Robbie: [Stretching his legs]
Cat: Don't be so nervous.
Robbie: I'm not nervous.
Cat: Well then...why are you breathing so heavy?
Robbie: 'Cause these pants are a little snug in the rump...
[Mason opens door and enters his office]
Mason: Well, hello. If it isn't my new friend, Robbie, and my old friend, Cat.
Robbie: Hey, Mason, do you like my snazzy outfit? [Spins in circle]
Mason: And there's Rex. [Points to Rex and smiles]
Rex: All day. Heheh.
Cat: Hey, Mason, quick question-
Mason: No bibble.
Cat: You don't know that's what I was gonna ask!
Mason: Oh...then what's your question?
Cat: ...So how ya been?...
Mason: [Furrows his brows at Cat]
Mason: Francis, come on, get yourself in here! [Guestures to door]
[Francis walks in with bag of bibble]
Mason: There he is, Robbie, Cat, this...is my son, Francis. [Exasperated tone towards the end]
Robbie: Hello, Francis.
Cat: Bibble! *[Reaches out for bibble]
Mason: Cat...
Cat: [Backs away from Francis] Tiny bit?
Mason: Alrighty then, my work here is done. [Mason goes to exit his office]
Robbie: Wait! Uh, I thought we were gonna talk about my music career.
Mason: Well...sometimes we think things that never happen. [Exits office]
[Francis eats bibble obnoxiously]
Cat: I see you have a...bag of bibble...
Francis: You can't have any.
Cat: Not even for...[reaches in bra and pulls out candy] chocolate covered nuts?
Francis: Nah, keep your nuts.
Cat: [Puts candy back in her bra]
Robbie: Francis...is your Dad coming back?
Francis: No! He brought you here so I could buy your little friend!
Robbie: Cat? For how much?
Cat: [Offended] Robbie!
Francis: Not the chick, him! [Points to Rex]
Rex: Eh! [Looks at Robbie]
Robbie: Look; b-but Rex isn't for sale.
Francis: I'll give you 2,000 bucks.
Robbie: [Shocked] 2,000?! What?!
Cat: [Reaches to get some bibble from Francis]
Francis: [Slaps Cat's hand]
Cat: Owwie!
Francis: So do we got a deal or what? [Impatient]
Robbie: No!
Rex: Think about it, Rob. 2 Gs. That'll buy you a lot of bodywash.
Robbie: Aw, I do use a lot of it...
Francis: My offer goes for 24 hours. [Eats bibble]
Robbie: Alright, I'll...I'll think about it [Starts to exit Mason's office] Cat, you coming?
Cat: Wait for me outside...
[Robbie exits]
Francis: I ain't giving you any bibble.
Cat: Okay...but...will you at least breath in my face?
[Francis breathes on Cat's face]
Cat: Ah, yeah...that is bibble breath. [Nodding] Do it again!
[Francis breaths on Cat's face again]
[At School Sikowitz runs up to tori, andre, beck, jade and cat] Oh kids, have any of you seen an unholy woman with a horrible little girl?.... Woman Mr. Sikowitz! [Sikowitz hides behind them, a woman and a little girl appear] Mr. Sikowitz I see you back there. [Sikowitz comes out of hiding] Mrs. Hilbert, Isn't it enough that I have to live across the street from you and your horrible little daughter? must you bring her to my place of work?. Mrs. Hilbert I brought her here to apologize for what she did this morning. André What'd she do? Rhoda None of your stupid buisness!. [André starts to charge at her but is held back by Beck and Tori.] Sikowitz I'll tell you what she did. This morning I was showering with my bathroom window open, and this little egg chucker, nailed me in the head. Rhoda It aint my fault your head broke my egg. Sikowitz I will end you [He charges a rhoda