This is the page of TheSlap.com posts from Festus.
Posts[]
- Festus: Don't believe the rumors. The Grub Truck DOES NOT have a rat infestation.
- Festus: The Grub Truck will be serving Filet Mignon today to the first 2 lucky customers. The rest of you get frozen burritos.
- Festus: Hey Buddies! I, Festus, am on TheSlap. Come to my page for all the latest Grub Truck news.
- Festus: Going on Vacation to Hawaii!!! My family wants me to come to Yerba, but that place is a dump.
- Tori: Festus, btw, thanks for the heads up!
- Festus: No problem.
- Tori: THAT WAS ME BEING SARCASTIC!
- Festus: Still in Hawaii living it up! Anyone want me to bring them back something?
- Sikowitz: Coconuts! Bring me some fresh Hawaiian coconuts!!!
- Festus: What should I serve at the Grub Truck this week? Ravioli, Grilled Cheese, or Fish-Eye Jelly? They all sound so good I can't decide!
- Tori: Fish-Eye Jelly? Seriously?
- Festus: Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
- Festus: Did you know that you're not allowed to keep chickens in your apartment in LA? What kind of backwards city is this?
- Festus: The school won't let me set up a giant pigeon trap on the roof of the Grub Truck. Such a shame, pigeon meat is delicious.
- Festus: I put a tip jar in the order window. You don't have to tip, but if you don't, you probably won't get your food.
- Festus: The Grub Truck is in the shop. In the meantime, I've set up a Grub Tent. It's not as good, but it's not like you can eat anywhere else.
- Festus: Has anyone here ever tried frog's legs? Wrong! If you've had the "chicken" at the Grub Truck... then you have!
- Festus: I'm out sick today so the Grub Truck is closed! Please stop knocking on the window. It's annoying.
- Tori: Wait, You're sick INSIDE the Grub Truck?
- Jade: Ewww... Don't you have an apartment?
- Festus: Yes, but the Grub Truck is nicer.
- Festus: Today's Special Is: Nothing. Why do you Americans think you deserve something new every day?
- Festus: I hate people who bring their own lunch to school. It's like you guys don't want me to be able to afford cable.
- Festus: I'm proud to announce that the Grub Truck has now gone 14 days without a food poisoning incident. It's a new record!
- Festus: Where is everybody? Is school closed this week? Please let me know so I can eat all these burritos myself.
- Festus: Got some big plans for the Grub Truck in 2012. I'm changing Mystery Meat Monday to Mystery Meat Wednesday! Always an adventure!
- Festus: It's lunchtime! Just think, everything you're eating right now was alive a week ago!
- Tori: Once again, there goes my appetite.
- Jade: Festus, you're my kind of guy.
- Festus: Hold on? You're supposed to pay taxes? Can I borrow $4000 from anyone?
- Festus: I need to work out. Anyone got any exercise programs where I wouldn't need to leave the couch or stop eating?
- Festus: Don't belive what you hear. The Health Department DID NOT shut down the grub truck..... they just give us a very stern talking to
- Festus: Why are people so surprised when I put mayonnaise on my burritos? Have you tried it?Its delicious
- Festus: In honor of Easter, The Grub Truck is serving up rabbit stew
- Tori: That's horrible! You can't serve rabbit on Easter!
- André: Yeah, you don't want to offend the Easter Bunny.
- Festus: Uh, I mean vegetable stew! Absolutely no rabbit at all......even if it taste like it
- Festus: Today's Special: Garbage Chicken. Chicken stuffed with Friday's leftovers. Mmm... Gross!
- Festus: It's Italian Wednesday at the Grub Truck! All the enchiladas you can eat!
- Festus: Pay no attention to the health warning sign on the Grub Truck window, it's just there for decoration.
- Tori: The Grub Truck was given a "D" by the health department?!
- Festus: The "D" stands for Delicious!
- Festus: It's finger food day at the Grub Truck! Come on down for some hot clam chowder!
- Tori: Clam chowder is NOT finger food!
- Festus: Yeah, well, I ran out of spoons.
- Festus: Today's special: Veggie Burgers with Bacon!
- Tori: Doesn't that kind of defeat the point?
- Festus: I'm kind of sick today. Hopefully no one ate the handmade quesadillas.
- Robbie: That was the only thing on the menu!
- Festus: Oops.
- Festus: Hope you guys enjoyed today's mashed potatoes! Fun Fact: They contained no actual potatoes!
- Cat: Then what was in it?
- Festus: My little secret.
- Tori: I'm so scared right now.
- Festus: I was going to make my famous burritos today, but I'm all out of mayonnaise. Sorry kids.
- André: Wait... you put mayo in your burritos?
- Festus: Yep. It's the secret ingredient.
- Beck: Well, you've totally ruined Mexican food for me. Thanks.
- Festus: Fish is always best served a few days after it is caught. Like 9 days or more.
- André: I don't think that's true.
- Festus: Well, that's all I got.
- Festus: I accidentally dropped a watermelon seed in my couch months ago and now a vine is growing through the cushions! Guess what's for lunch?!
- Festus: How do they get airline food to taste so good? Man, I gotta learn their secrets.
- Festus: @ the smog check place. Apparently the Grub Truck is "dangerously smoggy." Their words, not mine.
- Festus: Apparently gummy bear isn't considered a meat. I have to go run to the store before lunch starts.
- Festus: My waffle maker is broken, so just pretend the pancakes are waffles today and stop complaining.
- Festus: There are so many wild cats in the Hollywood Arts parking lot. And cat meat is illegal in the U.S. Such a waste.
- Festus: You haven't lived until you've had my famous butter milkshakes. The secret is the butter.
- Festus: It's so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. Which is exactly how I made your breakfasts this morning! Surprise!
- Festus: You people need to buy more meatloaf! I always eat all of the Grub Truck's leftovers and I HATE meatloaf.
- André: You could always NOT eat the leftovers.
- Festus: I don't make the rules here buddy.
- Festus: I submerge my submarine sandwiches in a bucket of water before serving them. It makes them more like a real submarine.
- Festus: Thanksgiving Eve. The night when the Great Turkey comes down the chimney and puts green bean casserole in our stockings.
- Tori: That's actually not how we celebrate Thanksgiving—AT ALL.
- Festus: I'm always making food for you kids. Why don't you cook for me for a change!?!
- Festus: I can't wait to get married because I hate trimming my nose hairs all by myself.
- Festus: Free lunch for whoever remembered my birthday yesterday!!! Oh that's right, no one remembered! No free lunches for anyone!