List of posts by Cat Valentine



This is the page of Cat Valentine's TheSlap posts.

Posts
Cat: Happy 4th of July! Did you ever wonder why they call it 4th of July?!?

Cat: Did you ever wonder how your brain tells your toes to move? Do brains have toe sections?

Cat: I'm doing a peanut butter and jelly dance right now. But you can't see it.

Cat: What should I be for Halloween???

Jade: Be a cat. You'll be less confused.

Cat: I don't get it.

Jade: A cat. Since your name is CAT! You won't forget what you are, like you did last year.

Cat: Oooooh, I get it now! Yeah last year was confusing, I was a fox and people kept calling me CAT!

Cat: Hey, Tori. Welcome to TheSlap.com. Oooooh, I keep writing on my own board! :(

Cat: My dog has a black nose. It's like a baby meatball. So cute!

Cat: I like to yodel. I usually do it at home, but sometimes I do it at the grocery store. Everyone stares.

Cat: Last night I dreamt of tiny pink bubbles and when they popped they sounded like little kids giggling.

Cat: I love going to the park and looking at baby squirrels. Oh, and sometimes one of them throws a nut at me. I don't like that part.

Cat: I thought the ball freshener from the Sky Store was the most AWESOME thing ever, but THEN I discovered the world’s first earlobe massager.

Tori: Cat, why am I getting packages sent to YOU at MY HOUSE?

Cat: Hmmm... not sure what you're talking about. Must be a different Cat Valentine. Classic mixup. I'll make sure it gets to the OTHER Cat. Can I come grab it after school??

Tori: Fine. And btw, who needs an ankle bracelet that detects if you're within 20 feet of a deer in the middle of Los Angeles??

Cat: Deer are so cute!

Cat: Is it true that sweat & pee are cousins?

Cat: Do you think that dogs who wear clothes get made of fun by the other dogs who don't? I hope not. 'Cuz they're so cute!

Cat: Sometimes when I look out of my window, a random feather just falls from the sky. I wonder if there's a balding bird up there somewhere.

Cat: I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU GUYS!!!! MY CAPS LOCK IS JUST STUCK! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD!

Beck: Just hit the caps lock button again.

Cat: Ooooooooohhhhhhh. Thanks, Beck.

Cat: I've been thinking about what a bald bird would look like and I can't stop giggling. Poor bird. Wonder if they make bird wigs

Cat: I just bought a star on the Internet. My goal is to buy so many stars that I can spell out my name in the sky. Good idea?

Cat: I just ate sooooooooo much soup. When I walk, I can hear waves of soup swishing in my tummy. Robbie: What kind of soup? I love broccoli cheddar but I'm allergic to cheese :(

Cat: Is happy!

Jade: Why?

Cat: Why what?

Jade: Why are you happy?

Cat: I'm not. I'm actually really sad today (Just heard flies live for only ONE day). :(

Jade: Then why does your status say "Is happy!"?????

Cat: Oh, that was a typo.

Cat: What did the young shrimp say when his mom asked him why he wouldn't share his toys?

Robbie: You've already told everyone that joke! Enough Already!

Jade: Say that joke again and I de-friend you. In real life.

Cat: I'm a little shellfish. Get it?!

Cat: I counted my eyelashes today. On my right eye, I have 153 eyelashes -- which is more than the average person. Go me!

Cat: I wish people would stop the cruel practice of bear-knuckle fighting. What did the bear ever do to you?

Cat: Hangin' out at Paramour Studios with Crystal Waters.

Tori : You know you don't have to call me Crystal Waters anymore. We already got Beck his job back.

Cat: Oh hi Crystal!

Cat: I'VE GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND!!!! His name is Daniel. His hair is fuzzy.

Cat: Got a new boyfriend, punched Tori in the face, broke up with boyfriend, and got hot cheese in my ear. Not exactly in that order, but....

Cat: Why do all my therapists keep retiring early? It's such a strange coincidence. :(

Cat: I haven't tweeted in almost 4 hours. It's not that I didn't want to, but it's really hard to tweet when you're asleep.

Cat: Halloween's my FAVORITE holiday! Well, after Christmas.... and Thanksgiving... and New Years... and Labor Day... and Arbor Day.... oh, and Groundhog's Day...

Cat: If shorts are called "shorts", why don't they call pants "longs"?

Cat: Cheerio! (That's English for Hello. Well, not English-English but British-English.) I guess I could've just said hi. Hi! 

Cat: Guess what me and Jade are doing this weekend? Karaoke!

Sikowitz: Did you know in Japanese, Karaoke literally means "to sing as if dying"

André: Actually the literal translation is "empty orchestra."

Sikowitz: Oh well, yeah. I tend to make things up.

Cat: I'm lying on the floor in the shape of an "S" right now. Hahaha. This is fun.

Cat: I don't know why I'm craving carrots so badly?

Jade: Maybe it's because you've been watching your neighbor's rabbit for a week.

Cat: OMG. That's why! 

Cat: OMG, it's a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!

Robbie: What is?!?!

Cat: I don't remember. I wrote that like 10 minutes ago.

Cat: Almonds are a girl's best friend!

Jade: You know it's "DIAMONDS are a girl's best friend" right?

Cat: OOOOH, that makes so much more sense'''. '''

Cat: When do I have to stop saying, "It's a Christmas miracle!" February?

Cat: Happy 1/11/11!! The ONLY thing cooler will be 11/11/11!

Jade: How about winning the lottery? That would probably be cooler.

Cat: I average about 407 texts a day. do you think that is too much? text ya later!

Cat: I heard that Valentine's Day was started by this guy named Valentine who just wanted a day named after him. I think he was my uncle.

Cat: My BF Daniel is mad at me. I didn't show up to dinner on V-Day. I totally forgot I was dating him. Oops.

Cat: My brother was arrested again. Apparently Santa Monica law doesn't allow you to swim in JUST your underwear. Well, now he knows.

Cat: I wish I could pick up more things with my toes. Life would be so much easier.

Cat: I wonder if Alaska and Hawai ever feel left out.

Cat: What's the deal with hotel soap? Why is it so tiny?

Beck: Still doing your 80's comedian routine?

Cat: No, I really NEED to know. I'm on vacation and I'm really dirty.

Cat: I'm going to write the first thought that pops into my head. Okay here goes: "Guacamole Swimming Pool." K. Bye.

Cat: I quit my job at Northstar. All of the emergency calls started to stress me out ... and the pay was terrible.

Tori: You know you didn't actually work there.

Cat: I LOVE my new costume design class! It's like Halloween every day of the year!!! Hooray!

Cat: Last night I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow. Then I woke up, the giant marshmallow in my bed was gone!

Beck: I can never tell if you're joking or not.

Cat: How do snapping turtles snap? They don't have any fingers. I HAVE fingers and I can't even snap!

Cat: How some only kids catch cooties? Is it because older people have already been vaccinated?

Cat: Hey friends! Check out my new blog! It's called CAT'S FUN PUN #1