Transcript:Tori & Jade's Play Date

[Bell rings]

Sikowitz: Good morning, little mutants! [laughing] Alright, now it's time for... bad news.

Rex: They found out coconut juice makes your hair fall out?

Sikowitz: [Laughing] No. We're going to do an acting excersize about giving bad news.

Jade: Why?

Sikowitz: Why? To teach you that acting often invovles making choices about how to say things. For example, how do you give someone bad news and make it seem not so bad?

Cat: By telling them in a language that they don't understand!

Sikowitz: No, Cat! Just come up on stage here. You too Robbie, up, up. Now your partner in this little acting excersize... Tanner, come in. Everybody, this is Tanner. A young boy who lives next door to me.

[Class talking]

Sikowitz: Have a seat. Alright, Cat and Robbie, heres a card with some... random bad news for you to give to Tanner.

Robbie: Got it.

Cat: Okay.

Sikowitz: Good, now improvise a scene where you have to give Tanner that bad news in a way that doesn't upset him.

Robbie: Uh....

Cat: *Whispering*

Robbie: That's good! One sec.

[Robbie strums guitar]

Robbie: [Singing]

This kind of news is always hard to tell someone.

Cat: We really hope it doesn't break your heart.

Robbie: But somebody ran

Cat: Yes, somebody ran

Robbie: A woman or a man

Cat: Maybe in a van

Cat and Robbie: Somebody ran over your go-cart.

Robbie: CRUSHED!

Cat: It's unfixable!

[Class applauds]

Sikowitz: Now that's how you give bad news. See? The boy is smiling!

Tanner: Yeah, that was really cool. You guys just made that song up? Right now?

Cat and Robbie: Yup!

Sikowitz: And now, Tanner. This is for you.

Tanner: My... My go-cart!

Sikowitz: Sorry. At night, your parents driveway looks a lot like... mine. Now, off you go! There ya go, scooch along, there's the door. Drive safely!

Tori: Wait! You really ran over the boys go-cart?

Sikowitz: Three times. I thought it was a racoon! Takes your seats. Alright, now let's talk about the new play I'm directing.

Jade: Do I get to star in it?

André: Uh, I think it's my turn to star in one of Sikowitz's plays.

Jade: Why are you talking?

[Class arguing]

Sikowitz: See? Every time I cast a new play, you get your panties in a pretzel. So this time, you people will choose your own roles. André, pick a role.

André: Tommy, 10 year old identicle twin brother of Carter.

Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Beck, pick a role.

Beck: Carter, 10 year old identicle twin brother of Tommy. I guess we're twins.

André: Then momma's got some explaining to do.

Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Jade, pick a role.

Jade: Uh, Nancy. Loving wife of astronaut Walter Swaine.

Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Tori.

Tori: Astronaut Walter Swaine, husband of Nancy...

Jade: I'm supposed to play her wife!?

Tori: I'll just pick another card...!

Sikowitz: No! My box has spoken!

André: Uh, Sikowitz, I think I just heard something move in there with the go-cart parts.

[Squeaking]

Sikowitz: I KNEW IT!

[Theme song]

André: Hey. Hey you guys. Can you do me a big favor?

Robbie: What's goin' on?

Cat: What is it?

André: Okay, see, I borrowed Beck's car 'cause I needed to take my grandma to the doctor.

Robbie: Yeah.

André: But she got scared and wouldn't go so the doctor told me to bring him a cup of her, uh.... You know, liquid.

Cat: Whaa?

Robbie: I uh, I think he means her urine.

Cat: [Gasps]

André: Yeah, when I took a sharp left, the cup of uh, grandma... spilled all over the front seat.

Robbie: Alright, I've got rubber gloves and sponges in my locker, I guess I'll just--

André: No, no, no. I just want you to tell Beck what happened.

Cat: Why us?

André: Well, 'cause it's bad news and in class today you made bad news sound not so bad.

Cat: Oh, okay.

Robbie: Yeah, we'll tell Beck for ya.

André: Cool, cool, he's over there.

Robbie: I'll go fetch my guitar!

Cat: [Giggles] Fetch.

[Bell rings]

Jade: I don't wanna be your wife in the play.

Tori: Well, I don't wanna be your husband in the play!

Jade: Oh.

Tori: "OH."

Cat: Hi!

Beck: Hey guys.

Robbie: We have a song.

Cat: For you!

Robbie:  Hey, Mister Beck

Cat: Your life's going swell

Robbie: Now here's some news

Cat: That's not so fun to tell

Cat and Robbie: Ohhhh...

Robbie: Now Andre'd like to thank you for the use of your car

Cat: But something icky happened and it's kind of bizarre

Robbie: His grandmother peed in a clear plastic cup

Cat: Andre put it in your car then he started it up

Cat and Robbie: ''Now..comes.. the'' bad part!

Cat: He was on his way to the doctor and he took a sharp turn

Robbie: The cup fell over and spilled all the urine

Cat: Sixty four plus nine equals seventy three

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">Robbie: But please don't feel bad now your car smells like pee

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">Cat and Robbie: 'Cause ''you're...still.. good looking''!

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">Beck: Well, I'm not thrilled about the <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">urine in my car. But, I liked your song so I'm okay with it.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">Cat: [Laughing] That was really fun!

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">Robbie: Yeah! Maybe we should make out some time!

<p style="text-align:-webkit-auto;"><span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;text-align:left;">Cat: Oh, Robbie, you're so gross! [Laughing]

[Music]