List of posts by Sinjin Van Cleef

This is a listing of Sinjin Van Cleef's TheSlap posts. Sinjin is the second recurring character to have an account on theSlap, the first being Mr. Erwin Sikowitz. The like button functions the same way it does with Facebook. The hashtag notation functions the way it does on Twitter.

Posts

 * Sinjin: I'm starting a petition to get Jade to like me. "Like" this if you think I have a chance.

Smile, your's is so white, The enamel on your teeth Is the highlight of my life.
 * Sinjin: I wrote poems about Jade. I hope she reads them. They describe my feelings for her:
 * Poem 1:

Just talked to Beck. Said you guys broke up. I am your rebound.
 * Poem 2:

Don't like me like that? {C}There's always Tori or Cat But Trina scares me.
 * Poem 3:
 * Jade: I can't believe this creep wrote poems about me and my own boyfriend never has!
 * Beck: Wait, some creep writes a poem about you and you blame me!?!?!? EXPLAIN THAT!


 * Sinjin: Still waiting for the gang to pick me up on our Venice Beach trip. I texted Jade, but she didn't answer. Waiting outside, man is it hot!


 * Sinjin: I got a app that says if your milk was expired. It didn't work.


 * Sinjin: It's so hot inside. I've been sleeping outside. I'm nice and cool... but covered with bug bites :(


 * Sinjin: Somebody said I was creepy today. Agree? Disagree?


 * Sinjin: Cutting my hair with one of those razors you hook up to the vacuum. Best haircut ever.


 * Sinjin: Bought a hair straightener. Straightened my hair. Results were disastrous.


 * Sinjin: Will people take me seriously if I start waxing my legs?
 * Tori: ......
 * Andre: ......
 * Robbie: ......


 * Sinjin: Jade has a very lovely home.
 * Jade: That's it, I'm buying a guard dog.


 * Sinjin: My mom accidentally shrunk my skinny jeans. Now I can't bend my legs.


 * Sinjin: I sit behind Jade in homeroom. She has the prettiest earlobes.


 * Sinjin: I've started doing eyebrow pushups. I now probably have the strongest brows in my class.


 * Sinjin: I just lost a raisin in my hair. Last time this happened it took me hours to find it.


 * Sinjin: I've been watching a show about hoarders -- ya know, people who keep like everything. Sounds fun!


 * Sinjin: Happy St. Patrick's Day!
 * Trina: It was last week, weirdo.


 * Sinjin: I just got ask out by a hot blonde cheerleader ... APRIL FOOL'S! Nobody asked me out! Looks like the joke's on you!


 * Sinjin: Have you ever had one of those days where you show up at school and realized you forgot to put on pants?


 * Sinjin: I just got invited to be in a boy hair show. I didn't know those existed.


 * Sinjin: A rat snuck into our kitchen last night. Awesom! I've been wantin a new pet!


 * Sinjin: Working on a new gum flavor: Triple A Battery. It's quite shocking.


 * Sinjin: Bought a used retainer at a yard sale! Straight teeth: here I come!


 * Sinjin: Will someone please teach me how to dance? My grandma refuses to do it anymore.


 * Sinjin: What should the next wad of food on my locker be? I'm feeling meatloaf. Any other suggestions?


 * Sinjin: I found cat throw up in my backpack this morning. I'm half disgusted/half excited to glue it to my locker.


 * Sinjin: You know who I'd love to meet? The entire cast of iCarly. Probably won't ever happen though.


 * Sinjin: Does anyone else at Hollyward Arts have lice? I can't be the only one, right?
 * Sikowitz: Sinjin, I think I speak for everyone here when I say I'm not coming to school today... or for the rest of the week.


 * Sinjin: Sweater vests will NEVER go out of style!


 * Sinjin: Had an indoor picnic in my living room. Was attacked by an ants. Maybe my mom should call pest control.


 * Sinjin: I finally finished rearranging my underwear by color: lightest to darkest. My summer is really boring.


 * Sinjin: Wanna hear how I got my name? Yeah, I'd like to know too! #weirdname


 * Sinjin: I think my ankles are bloated. My socks are too tight. Gotta lay off the pretzels.


 * Sinjin: Hired someone to write funny status updates for me. Jade fired her. She was too cute.


 * Sinjin: Found a chunk of meatloaf under my pillow. Not sure how or when it got there, but it was delicious.
 * Trina: Every time I think about you, I want to throw up in my mouth.
 * Sinjin: At least you think about me.


 * Sinjin: I got asked to pose for the cover of the 2012 Awkward Teenage Boys Calendar. Should I be insulted or flattered?


 * Sinjin: Drove across the state to see the country's largest gas station. My family takes the worst vacations.


 * Sinjin: Saw Lady Gaga at the farmers market (at least I think it was her). Asked her if she liked my sock puppet video. She pretended not to hear me.


 * Sinjin: Can I stay with anyone while my house is being fumigated?
 * Rex: No.
 * Andre: Sorry.
 * Beck: uh...no.
 * Sinjin:  Oh… okay. I've always wanted to sleep in a tent anyways.


 * Sinjin: I found a tooth on the street today! Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am!
 * Tori: Wait... you've been carrying around a street-tooth all day? And you don't find anything wrong with this?
 * Sinjin: Quite the opposite, Tori. There's nothing more right.
 * Tori: Ew.

​ ​
 * Sinjin: Went to the gym. Fell off the treadmill. Broke a toe. I'm done going to the gym for awhile.
 * Sinjin: For my birthday, my parents got me a stick I can scratch my back with. I wanted a car, but you take what you can get.
 * Sinjin: Do skunks know how bad they smell? And if they do, do you think it makes them depressed?

​
 * Sinjin: Today I learned that mayonnaise makes a perfectly good substitute for hair gel. I had to use a lot though, so now my turkey sandwich is mayo-less.
 * Tori: I think I'm done with mayo for forever.


 * Sinjin: I made my own pants from bits of leftover carpet. I call them.... carpet pants. I'm not very good at naming things.


 * Sinjin:  Did you know that a lifeguard can kick you off the beach for being too awkward and gangly? I found that out the hard way.


 * Sinjin: A monkey at the zoo sneezed on me and now I think I have the flu. Sorry in Advance if I get you sick.
 * Beck: You can't get sick from a monkey sneezing on you. Animals have different germs than humans.
 * Jade: Is Sinjin human?


 * Sinjin: Halloween pumpkin is rotting on my front porch. I'll bring it to school tomorrow if anyone wants to sniff it.


 * Sinjin: Do I have the only family that does pizza on Thanksgiving instead of turkey? Is that weird?


 * Sinjin: Sikowitz didn't show up to school again so Jade decided to take over. She gave everyone detention -- but she looked pretty doing it.
 * Sinjin: Do you know how hard it is to keep my hair looking this good all the time? Not very hard actually. My hair's just awesome I guess.
 * Sinjin: My facial hair was getting out of control, so I had to shave this morning. Never letting that happen again.
 * Beck:You have facial hair?'''
 * Sinjin: Yeah. Enough that I had to shave it off. #crazy.


 * Sinjin: Why is getting coal in your stocking a bad thing? In a couple of thousand years it can turn into a diamond! Van Cleefs in the future are gonna be rich!


 * Sinjin: My stomach growled so loudly I thought it was my phone vibrating. Then I realized I was just hungry... and no one called me.