List of posts by André Harris

This is the page of André's posts on TheSlap.com.

Posts

 * Robbie: Poker tonight?
 * André: For sure. See ya there.


 * André: My grandma got scared -- now she's hiding under the bed. Gonna have to use a broom to get her out.


 * André: Mixing beats. Feeling the flow. Musician stuff.


 * André: Typing with one hand, flossing with the other. Think I'm gonna have to give one or the other up.


 * André: Hey, everyone! I FINALLY put up my video profile. Hope you like it. If you don't please don't tell me -- I have a fragile ego. Ha!


 * André: Lakers or Celtics???


 * André: Writing. Songs. Studio. Love my Life.


 * André: Parts of me are sweating that I didn't know could sweat.


 * André: What is up with those vuvuzelas at those soccer games? Sounds like a bunch of bees. I hate bees!
 * André: Not that I'm obsessed with Ketchup but... Ketchup or Catsup? Which is it, people?
 * Cat: I like Catsup. 'Cuz it's like, "Hey, Cat... 'sup?" Hehehehe. Oh, not much. What's up with you?


 * André: Lovin' summer vacation! Why can't school be on the beach? With tropical smoothies? And girls in bikinis?


 * André: My question is: Why do peanuts have shells? Were they once an endangered speecies that needed protection?


 * André: Picking up raw meat to grill. Can't wait! See ya in a few, Beck.
 * Beck: Pick up pickles please.
 * Cat: Heeeey, you said three "p" words in one sentence. Well I guess you really didn't "say" them, but you wrote them. I know there's a word for that.
 * Robbie: Alliteration. It's called alliteration.
 * Rex: Word Nerd.


 * André: Fill in the blank: I love it when...


 * André: Goin' jogging. See you guys later.
 * Beck: Back from your jog yet?
 * André: Nah. Stayed at home. Ate a corn dog. Good times.


 * André: My crazy grandma just sucker-punched my laptop. Anyone got $1400 I could borrow?


 * André: Found an instrument I can't play -- but who cares about the Sitar anyway.


 * André: Just noticed that one of the moods you can pick on TheSlap is "Blum". Is that even a word?


 * André: There seems to be an app for everything. Where's the app for my toaster? This bagel's taking FOREVER!


 * André: C'mon BEES! What's a guy gotta do to get stung around here?


 * André: Wrote a new song this week. If you're nice to me, I'll post it on TheSlap.


 * André: Robbie made me feel his foot... and I LOVED it! Hey, don't judge.


 * André: Tonight is Breakfast-for-Dinner Night! My grandma may be crazy but she makes a mean french toast.


 * André: Dear Guy in the Car Next to Me, your windows aren't tinted! I can see your finger in your nose.


 * André: Why is it 20 degrees colder inside school than outside? Gonna wear a parka tomorrow.


 * André: Picking out some music to mow the yard to. I'm thinking mo-town...... it just sounds right.


 * André: It's official: I'm all out of Dr. Chocostein cereal. Why can't they sell seasonal Halloween-themed cereal all year long. :(


 * André: My grandmother refuses to carve the turkey. She thinks the turkey's family is going to come after her for revenge.


 * André: Buffalo nuggets = My new favorite food. Sorry spicy tuna, you've been replaced.


 * André: I bought fancy socks and the only people who have ever seen them were at airport security. Sock Fail.


 * André: Does anyone else think that the idea of a grown man in a costume coming down your chimney is weird?


 * André: Gonna be the ONLY one on here NOT posting about Chistmas! Awww, man. I mentioned Christmas.


 * André: Bought my grandma flowers today. She flipped 'cuz she swears the thorns are little tiny cameras for spying.


 * André: Uh, before you use the bathroom in someone's house, make sure they got toilet paper!


 * André: Would it kill somebody to kiss me on New Year's Eve? I'll take a cheek!


 * André: Man, first 4,000 birds fall from the sky then the milk in my fridge expired. What next??


 * André: I can't fake cry. What is wrong with me?


 * André: Why would anyone tie their feet to a board and jump off a mountain in the freezing stone? #snowboardingisstupid


 * André: Y'know, Wednesday is one of the weirdest looking words in the English language.


 * André: Every day I go to class and crave coconut milk. Sikowitz won't share.


 * André: Nobody offers to tickle my tummy. :(


 * André: Are fist bumps still cool? Cuz Robbie just tried to fist bump me. I don't think it's cool anymore. No offense Rob.


 * André: Sick. :( But I heard coughing is actually a good ab workout. Cough. Cough.


 * André: Is there anything that doesn't taste better BBQ'd? I dare you to name it.
 * Tori: Cereal.
 * Robbie: Milk.
 * Beck: Sushi.
 * André: Okay okay, I guess most things taste worse BBQ'd. My bad.


 * André: The Bad News: Security had to haul my cousin Kendra away. The Good News: She got offered her own talk show.


 * André: I accidentlally stepped in some wet cement so I went ahead and put my hand prints in too and signed it. Maybe it'll be worth something some day.


 * André: Just found week-old ravioli in my locker. Gave it to Sinjin. He seemed happy enough about it.


 * André: Found out the Grub Truck started selling sushi. Call me crazy but I am NOT eating sushi out of a truck.


 * André: How exactly does someone "crawl like a centipede"? I wrote the lyrics to "Beggin' on Your Knees" and even I'm not sure what it means.


 * André: Do you think regular pizza is jealous of pepperoni pizza?


 * André: My neighbor is selling his "keytar" (you know that keyboard you play like a guitar). Should I buy it? Cool or dorky?


 * André: @ a private Ke$ha concert! Only had to go through 617 cartons of ice cream to win it!!! Wait, it probably would have been cheaper to buy tickets.


 * André: You know why I never learned the trumpet? The spit valve. I don't wanny play an instrument that stores my drool.


 * André: Ow. Fell asleep on my keys. Remind me to NEVER do that again.


 * André: My grandma got freaked out when my PearPhone rang, so she smashed it with a hammer. Guess it's time to get the new PearPhone 8G...


 * André: Finally managed to detach Sherry's lips from my face. My poor lips need a vacation.
 * Rex: Robbie's lips need a job.


 * André: Had to break up with Sherry. She's doing fine... my lips are finally getting back in 'em.


 * André: Guess who I'm hangin' with RIGHT NOW?! Kenan Thompson! Dude is so cool. I'll tell you all about it later!


 * André: There's NO PARTY AT KENAN'S house! Don't listen to that puppet. (Ah, man...Kenan's gonna kill me.)
 * Rex: Ha, ha,ha!


 * André: My grandma just used my PearPad as a cookie sheet. Today I learned PearPads are not oven-safe.
 * Beck: Didn't you just have to replace your PearPhone?
 * André: Yeah, this woman is costing me a fortune.


 * André: I've got a bad case of the Thursdays. Not sure what it means, but I got it bad.


 * André: I'm allergic to dust mites and my grandma is scared of the vacuum cleaner. Something's got to give.


 * André: Anyone else think Beck kinda looks like Elvis?


 * André: Reason I love L.A. #3457: Avocado tree in my backyard = Fresh guacamole whenever I want!


 * André: Gonna rent a boat this weekend. Just call me Captain Andre! Gonna rock that boat!


 * André: Taking a break from the world! Not answering my direct messages, my private messages, my voicemail messages, my emails, my texts. #nothingpersonal


 * André: Going to the zoo for the first time in forever. I hope the monkeys don't mock me again. Traumatized me for years!


 * André: I gotta go break up with a girl who THINKS she's my girlfriend -- she's NOT. Can someone say obsessive texter?


 * André: Used to be I couldn't get stung by a bee... now they won't leave me alone! Maybe I should stop using honey-scented bodywash...


 * André: Why do I watch movies about horses? They always die in the end! Anyone got any tissues?


 * André: I went to a party and took Sinjin as my wingman. I blame myself for going home dateless.


 * André: I'm horrible at tennis, ping pong, squash and badminton. I should really stay away from racket-based sports


 * Sinjin: Hey man, do you wanna play some racquetball this weekend?


 * André: Did you even look at my status update?


 * Sinjin:: No, I usually just comment on things without reading them.


 * André: Had a blast on my date with Keeko... NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS AND YOUR ENDLESS FLASHBACKS!
 * Cat: I never got to do a flashback. boo :(
 * Jade: You did, but it wasn't yours. You can have some oatmeal now. Pick yourself up some on your way over here -- and get me a lemonade.


 * André: Dear Neighbors, I'll stop playing the drums at night if you stop mowing your lawns at 6:30 in the morning. Deal?


 * André: I have nothing to talk about this week. Nope. Nothing. I don't have a crush on anybody! Stop asking me! Ahhh! I'm going wonky over here!


 * André: I just found a picture of me as a little kid dressed as a blue dinosaur named Zeebo. Man, what a terrible costume.


 * André: I couldn't cut it as an eskimo. The water in my shower turned cold for like 3 seconds and I nearly froze to death.


 * André: My neighbor is a fortune teller. Ironically, she couldn't predict her car was gonna get towed this morning. #FortuneFail.


 * André: My grandma refuses to shower. She says she doesn't trust "indoor rain".


 * André: I've got 3 thanksgiving dinners I have to go to: my grandma's, my dad's, and my new gf's. I'm gonna be so full of pecan pie I might explode.


 * André: When I get older, I want to have a helicopter so I never have to sit in traffic. I'd also like a pretty girl to ride in the helicopter with me.


 * André: Even though my teacher gave my Christmas song a D, I respect his decision. I just think he needs to see a doctor to get his stupid ears checked!!!


 * André: It's hard to get excited for Christmas without snow. Anybody know how much a snowmaker costs?
 * Cat: You can borrow my portable snowmaker from the Sky Store!
 * André: No thanks. I want snow that won't kill me if eaten.


 * André: Going to a Christmas party/ugly sweater competition. I borrowed a sweater from Sikowitz. Think I'm going to win this year.


 * André: Why do I wait until the last minute every year to go shopping? I'm the 146th person in line at the store. Just so I can buy my grandma a new pair of PJs.
 * Tori: New PJs?
 * André: Yeah, she burned her last pair because she thought they were haunted. Don't ask.


 * André: Thought things were going great with this new girl til she texted me and called me Arnold. Dating fail!


 * André:My little cousin just owned me in video game bowling. I feel so ashamed.


 * André:Why are Inside-Out burgers so addictive??? 2 hours 'til dinner. Don't think I can wait! I need me some of that meaty goodness now!


 * AndréWhoever just shouted "Hi" and "What's up?" to me on Sunset... I know I said "What's up?" back, but I couldn't tell who it was ... Sorry lol


 * André:Every time I see a girl with a tattoo of her bf's face I think, "Ya know that's gonna hurt to remove when y'all break up."


 * André:I 'm under so much pressure to be the best. If only I was okay with being mediocre.


 * André: Should I dump my horrible girlfriend tonight BEFORE singing for her big-shot dad or AFTER? Ah, my conscience hurts!


 * André: Beck and I are playing identical twins in a new play. I just hope my grandma will be able to tell us apart.


 * André: Just got a giant paper cut. C'mon paper! What did I ever do to you? I thought we were tight!


 * André: How come every weekend I plan to go to the beach it has to rain? Nature is toying with me.


 * André: The thing I'll miss most about April Fools' Day is the feeding children. Why can't we have children feed us the other 364 days of the year?


 * André: My grandma just washed and dried my shoes in the laundry. On the plus side, they look brand new... but now they're two sizes too small.


 * André: You know you're tired when you try to lock an ATM with your car keys.


 * André:I really wish my grandma would stop dumping her bowl of oatmeal in my car. It's not doing anything for the resell value.


 * André:Met a girl at the gas station today. I wrote her a song while she pumped. Can't get more romantic than that.


 * André:I gotta take my computer keyboard to the sssssssshop. My sssssssss key keepssssssss ssssssssssticking.


 * André:No matter how bad my day's been, I always feel better when I get a guitar in my hands.