List of Posts by Sikowitz

This is the page of Sikowitz's TheSlap posts.

Posts
Sikowitz: I am on TheSlap.com. Now what do I do? ... and where did I put my coconut?

Sikowitz: As you know, school has now begun, but I, Erwin Sikowitz, have yet to return to Hollywood Arts. And that's because my list of demands (which I sent to the school administration months ago) has yet to be met.

My Demands


 * 1) Coconut vendig machine MUST be added to the Asphalt Cafe so that I can get my daily serving of coconut milk.


 * 1) My mother MUST be banned from the Hollywood Arts premises. Every time she comes to visit, she hurts my feelings.


 * 1) A pay raise would be nice. Tie-dyed clothig is back in style and becomming rather pricey.


 * 1) A new PearTV MUST be installed in my classroom so I can play my acting reel on a continuous loop -- for educational purposes, of course.


 * 1) Have security stop searching my satchel every morning. What's inside a man's satchel should be privat.

Once all of the above have been completed to my satisfaction I will return to my positon teaching the dramatic arts -- or until my mortgage is due whichever comes first.

Sikowitz: Hello students, I'm teaching again. None of my demands were met, but my mum said she'd cut me from the will if I didn't go back to work.

Sikowitz: Do you know if masseuses offer teacher's discounts? I have a lot of stress to be relieved!

Sikowitz: I dropped my harmonica in the men's room toilet.

Andre: Sorry man. I know a place where you can get another one.

Sikowitz: Why would I get another one?

Andre: Cuz your old one fell in a toilet.

Sikowitz: And your point is?

Sikowitz: Ping to the Pong! Isn't that what the kids are saying these days?

Jade: No one says that.

Sikowitz: Everyone wants to know what my homemade sausage is made out of. Hilarious, I know.

Sikowitz: Still recovering from reggae night on Sunday. What'd I miss?

Beck: About 2 1/2 day of school.

Sikowitz: No, I meant important stuff.

Sikowitz: Do they make special sun screen for the top-of-your-head skin?

Sikowitz: Trick or Treat? I pick trick. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sikowitz: Can't stop playing that Ditch the Fish game. It's starting to affect my job, my relationships, my life. Help.

Sikowitz: I'm running a marathon next week in Long Beach. Guess I better start practicing.

Sikowitz: I make my own cranberry souce. Interesting thing though, it contains no actual cranberry.

Sikowitz: Step right up and get a little bit of Sikowitz!

Sikowitz: Acting is like fishing. Only there is no fish.

Sikowitz: Later on, we'll perspire as we sit by the fire...

Andre: You know those AREN'T the real lyrics right?

Sikowitz: Yes, but sweating is funny.

Sikowitz: Happy Easter, Everyone!

Andre: Dude, Easter's not for like another 3 months or something. Tell me you're kidding...

Sikowitz: Wait, what month are we in?

Sikowitz: Where did the time go? I can't believe it's 2012 already!

Rex: Man, and you're responsible for my education??

Sikowitz: Man, 2011 is dragging. The 70s happend so fast they're still just a blur in my memory.

Sikowitz: Ahh, I love Sundays!

Beck: You know today's not Sunday right? It's Friday.

Sikowitz: Ah, Good Ghandi! How many classes have I missed so far?

Beck: 4

Sikowitz: Just bought diet SOAP. Anyone know how I use it? Eat it?

Sikowitz: Do you think it's odd that a 34 year old man lives with his mom? Just asking cuz my friend does. Not me.

Sikowitz: Get this one -- Had jury duty. Judge made me put on shoes! I objected! He didn't care.

Sikowitz: A woman told me I have "mad scientist eyebrows". Is that a good thing?

Sikowitz: I don't remember if I showered this morning. I don't stink, do I?

Jade: Do you remember if you showered yesterday? Cuz you smell the same as you did then.

Sikowitz: I wish they'd invent something that keeps your feet clean while walking around barefoot.

Jade: It's called SHOES! Get some!

Sikowitz: Took my mom to Vegas last weekend. She had a great time. So great in fact that she's never allowed back.

Sikowitz: I waited in line 9 hours for a new PearPad... It turns out it's some sort of computer.

Robbie: Why did you wait in line for it if you didn't know what it was?

Sikowitz: Don't know. Just curious I guess.

Sikowitz: I'm getting ready for the big Sikowitz Sleepover. Teenagers like industrial sized bottles of mayonaise, right?

Robbie: We sure do!

Rex: He does not speak for all of us.

Sikowitz: I make my own toothpaste. It doesn't clean very well and it tastes like mud, but it's super cheap. Anyone wanna try some?

Sikowitz: Teaching teenagers is like herding cats. Except the cats are over 5 feet tall, can talk, and own cell phones. Okay, That's a bad analogy.